Sarah said that she flagged the message because it made her so disgusted she wanted to quit online dating altogether. It can be frustrating to be banned from a service, but if you write a nasty feedback response, it justifies why your account was banned in the first place. The best part of being an engineer at OkCupid is that — even though I spend most days hunched over the lifeless glow of C++ code — I sometimes read other people’s private messages. And I had ok luck, decent physical relationships but there was a dysfunctional trend of me trying to fix people that either weren't looking to be fixed or were just outside of my capabilities to make any meaningful change. The worst thing I think I have done on that site is put a few dozen irrelevant's on my 300+ questions I answered. They're owned by Humor Rainbow, the same company that has Match.com, and when I called their offices in New York, the woman told me to email mike@okcupid.com. But it is exactly this variance in what’s acceptable that creates the gray zone of moderation. I made Hank’s case to OkCupid’s team of moderators, who each look through hundreds of flagged messages a day. Its like I'm talking to faceless and non-existent people. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Hank sent Sarah long, gushing messages. Beauty 90%. Be descriptive about your problem if you believe you know why there may be a misunderstanding. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. I love meeting strangers I’d never meet in real life with wildly different jobs, tastes, and yes, vastly different standards of acceptable behavior. You were travelling abroad to a high risk spam country while using OkCupid, You made a test account to see if your messages were going through, A troll flagged your account and it was accidentally banned, 9 out of 10 people who write in claim that they believe they didn't do anything wrong. But in all sincerety, I really appreciate this information, BecauseItOwns. In the form of Humanrace, his new skin-care line. See our Privacy Policy and Third Party Partners to learn more about the use of data and your rights. 8.3. I feared we were biased by our own gut repulsion to his sexual preferences. But my co-worker, whose time is dedicated to working on our moderation algorithms, assures me that the data speak less clearly. But from a moderation perspective, this bluntness often backfires. Except she invited all of them to meet her on the same day at the same time at the same bar, and the only company they found when they got there was each other. Truth. The designer returns to Uniqlo with a new J+ collection after almost ten years. We use cookies and other technologies to customize your experience, perform analytics and deliver personalized advertising on our sites, apps and newsletters and across the Internet based on your interests. Carl Lentz’s alleged girlfriend is speaking out. Hank messaged her first. OKcupid became a vice for a while, I had a preset "type" of emo, goth, metal, punk chicks. Reply rate 88%. 95% of those people did something obviously wrong (dick pics, calling women bitches for not responding, hate speech, creating dozens of fake accounts, etc.).